5 Steps to Move Forward When You're Feeling Stuck

Photo by Thiébaud Faix on Unsplash

At the end of September, after having started yoga teacher training and a couple of incredible opportunities speaking to audiences in the sustainability and slow fashion spaces, I felt both excitement and resentment. I was finally back in the swing of taking care of myself and doing what I enjoy most: making interesting connections and stretching my brain around new ways to help people connect to their most authentic selves.

I wanted so badly to dive into the things that make my heart sing. To read, research, write, create, connect, and share. But I was struggling with making space for the "adult" things that have to get done like managing the demands of my full-time job, spending more time with my son, cleaning the house, making sure we have lunch prepared for the week or staying on top of bills and finances. While I have a strong partnership with my husband, we've been navigating his recovery from a concussion, so it's been quite an adjustment as he works to take the rest he needs and get better over time.

I got to a point where I felt like there was no way I could get it all done. Work, family, and health obligations felt like quicksand. I had been in the habit of waking up earlier, attempting to write or be creative before going into work, but it just wasn't enough. The two hours I had set aside would sometimes become less than an hour and a half or 45 minutes, depending on the type of morning I had before getting to the office. I kept thinking, "I have no time; I have no time; I have no time."

Finally, the pain of getting small glimpses into all the beautiful things that feed my soul and not being able to incorporate them in my life fully became too much. Everything I was attempting to do just felt half-assed. I was taking care of my health sporadically, and I felt like I was doing the bare minimum for everything, which was never how I envisioned myself living.

I was frustrated and fed up. Something had to change.

Have you ever been so tired of not doing the things you want to be doing and started feeling resentment toward different areas of your life? What about exhaustion from being pulled in all the directions of obligation and not having space for delight, calm, or creativity?

I have spent the past eight years experimenting and helping others with incorporating "all the things" and living in a way that feels good. I've learned a lot, and what I can say with absolute confidence is that it's not about balance in a linear fashion. It's also not about all things being equal and neat. It comes down to engaging in and with the activities and people that are authentic and aligned. Ask yourself: what does it take for me to operate in my strengths and show up as my best self every moment and every day? That's it.

And while it's so simple, it is one of the hardest things to make space and set boundaries for or even give ourselves permission to do.

So what do you do when you're feeling stuck, resentful, complacent or stagnant?

1. Remember your why. One of the main reasons we feel tension and conflict within ourselves is because we have strayed away from the things we genuinely want to be doing. We are acting in ways that don't align with who we want to be and what we say we want to be doing. Getting back to your bigger picture helps remind you of why you are where you are in this moment in time, and what your ultimate goals are.

2. Start a gratitude practice. It can be excruciating at first when you are in a place of frustration and resentment. Still, it has been scientifically proven time and time again that a regular practice of gratitude can move your emotions from frustrated, depressed, and toxic to a place of contentment and increased happiness. Gratitude also positively affects our brains, sleep, and physical health.

3. Get rid of the clutter. Think of this literally and figuratively for people, things, and your mindset. Ask yourself: What is sucking away energy and occupying space that future amazing people and abundance in my business and life could be taking up instead? Take a moment to identify the stuff, people, and thought patterns in your life that are draining. Go ahead and clean house. Go through that box of papers in the corner collecting dust. Donate a bunch of things you're no longer using or wearing. Identify the people in your life that drain you and start speaking up for yourself, distancing, and disengaging from the drama. Also, how can you adjust your mindset daily to help you clear the negative or anxious chatter? What mantras or affirmations can help?

4. Set your goals and intentions. Pick a time frame (30, 60, 90 days) and identify the top 3 things you want to focus on. Once you've set those goals, use this worksheet to help you make sure they are aligned with your big picture and highlight any possible barriers to success.

5. Take aligned action. Action is the #1 thing that helps you snap out of fear and stagnation, but the other steps are first because we want to make sure it's the action that is authentic. It's easy for us to get caught in the paralysis of perfection and our dramatic stories of all possible negative consequences of each decision we make, or we can do something.

Lastly, remember to be compassionate with yourself as you start to do each of these things. Keep in mind that it's not about perfection. It's about putting one foot in front of the other.